JAYBEEGOSSIP

I finished in school around some minutes after four in the evening today. There, I entered a shuttle that conveyed me from school to Eke Awka.

Before I forget sef, that shuttle, na wahala. E resemble all these Danfo buses but na shuttle e be. Person wey no chop belle full no go fit climb inside the shuttle. The height is not normal. In fact, it is a ‘storey shuttle’. Don’t laugh yet. It is not funny. If no be God, one woman skirt for tear as she dey climb enter the mountain shuttle. I am digressing. Let me leave shuttle and yan una d gist.

It was not long that we took off from school and we found ourselves at the last bus stop: Eke Awka. As we take climb in na so we take climb down. I alighted, paid the shuttle driver and went my own way.

Seeing that I had a little ‘change’ (balance) left on me, I decided to get myself some fruits. Banana as usual. But my brother my sister, wetin I saw no gree me talk. If u see shekele banana they were selling at the highest prices u will run for your life. I was like, “una hold meeting? So una no wan Jaybee to eat banana today? Ok nah”. I changed my choice immediately. I went for watermelon, an already sliced one. I bought one with some wraps of groundnuts. Banana can go to hell. Nonsense.

After the purchase, I decided to trek a little. I decided to trek from that Eke Awka down to Ogbugbankwa. Those living within Awka and environs una sabi d place nah. Jegede people.

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I didn’t know that someone was busy ‘cooking pot’ for me in my village (you know what that means, right? A joke though). Do you know what happened? Chai! Listen! The sandals I was putting on tore. Imagine the scenario. This happened near Dike Park, that side men’s clothes are sold, not that ‘Aboki people’ side oo. The other side. I was like, ‘ok nah. Na wetin trekking cause. I suppose enter bus since go home ooo. Chai.

Imagine those men and young boys that were selling there, they were busy dragging me saying, ”Nnaa kom buy another one from my shop. You will like the one I will show you”. I was laughing. When they noticed that I was not interested they stopped. I stood there for minutes, even an hour if not up to two hours waiting for the bus that is going towards my destination. Those men and young boys kept me company with their jokes. Some of them were busy stealing carrots from the ‘Aboki’ that was attending to his customer. Funny people. Let me not call it stealing, the seller saw them and was busy smiling with them as they were filling their empty stomachs. This story is getting too long. Amebo. U no dey tire. Let me hit the nail on the head.

Let me not talk about the group of persons that passed with the popular Aiza Nwosu, with a burial banner of a man that was 56 years old. They were all putting on black. Let me not also talk about the ‘tea advertisers’, the tea company advertisers that were advertising their products. Let me not also talk about the multitude of people that was dancing to a gospel band and sharing flyers. On their polos and cars were written “Warmen”. Things dey happen for Arthur Eze Avenue, Awka.

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Now the real story. It was not quite long after the “Warmen Church people” passed that I saw people laughing and children running and making some noise. Imagine! It was a masquerade. A little masquerade. I heard passersby calling it “Obele Mmonwu (Small masquerade)”. It was busy performing. Running from one side of the road to the other. Little boys of presumably six to eight years were its followers, fanning it tirelessly. Some were carrying tall tree branches in form of cane. Imagine! They were praising it. Calling it sweet sweet names. Begging him to take it easy to react not according to its anger. I was busy laughing. The “small masquerade” was stopping tricycles at intervals, some gave him money while others didn’t. Wetin Jaybee eyes no go see for Arthur Eze Avenue, Awka.

After that, they left. I waited for some minutes more and a bus drove down to where I stood, I asked the passengers where the bus ‘was going’ and it was my destination. I did not even waste time, I entered the bus immediately. Imagine since I have stood there waiting. Off I went home.

Amebo! How you see this tori? Gossip too dey sweet you. Biko bye bye. I aff gossip finish.

JaybeeGossip.

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